Tinsel, Turkey & Triggers

Holidays gather so much in one room—memories, opinions, love, old patterns. If you feel a little braced before you even put on your coat, you’re not alone. What you can influence is the climate you bring with you. Meditation isn’t about floating above in your bubble; it’s about having enough steadiness within yourself to stay kind and enjoy the good moments when they show up.

Think of your nervous system like a dimmer, not a switch.  We’re aiming for “a notch steadier,” not perfection during Thanksgiving dinner.  Small practices—seconds long—can shift the body toward ease so your words land softer and your choices come from the logical part of your brain.

Before you go (90 seconds)

Set your aim. Quietly: May I be steady. May I be kind. Peace starts within me. 

Lengthen the exhale. Inhale 4, exhale 6–8 for five rounds. Longer exhales tell the body, you’re safe. 

Rehearse one gentle boundary. “I’m skipping hot topics tonight, but I’d love to hear about your trip.”

In the room (micro-meditations you can do at the table)

Ground & glance (10 seconds). Feel both feet. Let your eyes rest on something neutral—a spoon, a candle—and silently name it, “spoon.” Orientation brings you back here. 

Label & let be (one breath). Notice and name what’s present— “tight chest,” “sad,” “urge to fix”—then one slow exhale. Contact, not judgment. 

The courteous pause. B

efore answering a sharp comment, take one breath. Try, “I’m going to refill my water and come right back.” Reset without drama.

Be kind to yourself (skip the second arrow)

The first arrow is the trigger; the second is the self-talk that says, You should be past this. You can leave the second one in the quiver. Notice, breathe, begin again. Practice is a series of returns.

Aftercare (2 minutes in the car, hallway, or bathroom)

Shake it out. Unclench jaw and shoulders; shake your hands; sigh through the mouth. 

Three true things. Name what went okay—shared a laugh, took a pause, left on time. Let the nervous system register safety and success.

Five minutes a day on ordinary mornings will make these moves easier when the room gets loud. Not to be untouchable—just anchored. When the world swirls, you don’t have to whirl with it. A steadier you is a real gift to everyone at the table, including you.